Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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