She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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