I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
