When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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