Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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