one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
