My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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