It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
