i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
