Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
