come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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