Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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