It's Friday. Sex?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
