a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
