exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
