did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
