So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
3pm strippers are depressing
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
