For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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