Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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