WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
