Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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