I think scott just propositioned me for sex
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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