Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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