if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
