I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
