My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
