The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
