Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
