im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
