I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
