Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
