Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just pee around me
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
