It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
How's work?
Spinning.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
