he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's official drugs can't kill me
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
