I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
