Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
