OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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