she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
