i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
