We got so high we made milksteak
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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