yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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