I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the day after is always just damage control
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
