im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
