Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
