the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
