You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
