eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
