your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
