her vagine was all disorganized.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
