my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
