He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize