Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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