i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
